Recently Mary Beth a made a comment about conversation stopping completely after she answered the dreaded "Do you have children?" question, which got me started thinking about how we identify ourselves. "I'm an accountant." "A mother of five." "I'm a software engineer." It makes me sad. Are we reducible to our jobs and our parenting status? Now maybe it's because I hate thinking of myself as a housewife, but I think that there is a lot more to each of us than just what we do, if we're married, and how many children we have. But let's face it - depending on the circumstances, the first few question a new acquaintance is likely to ask you are "What do you do? Do you have children? (maybe an Are you married?)" Who are you? I'm a child of God, an avid reader, a Catholic, infertile, human to 3 wonderful cats, an aunt, cousin, daughter, granddaughter, American, ballroom dancer, wife, home owner, gardener, coupon clipper, organizer (maybe even a hint OCD), lousy correspondent but generous gift giver, and much more. It's not easy to do, but instead of asking "What do you do?" or "Do you have children?" maybe we can start asking more interesting, creative questions. "What do you like to do in your free time?" or "Tell me a little more about yourself." or even "What kind of food do you like?" even "Do you have pets?"
Amen! One of the things that frustrates me so much is that I have people in various sections of my life, but very few people that know about more than one section. There's the people that know me at work, and those that know me hiking, and those that know me at church. But few know all of the above, and if we reduce me down to a single woman that does physical therapy, it's not really my life. Great post!
Great points! It feels frustrated to be put in a box when someone finds out a few facts about you. What I "do" is so much more than how I earn a paycheck. Your post is a good reminder to not box people in myself.
Your reflection was great, put words to what I was feeling. Those are great questions to ask, luv, luv, luv it!!!! I hate the conversation stopper ones, and your ideas were excellent. I am going to try to put them into practice. ...sooooo cool that you ballroom dance, we did it a bit when we were dating, but that sounds like a fun thing to get back into.
Love it! So true!
ReplyDeleteAgree! I think it is so good to ask other questions too because you just never know how it will effect someone....
ReplyDeleteAmen! One of the things that frustrates me so much is that I have people in various sections of my life, but very few people that know about more than one section. There's the people that know me at work, and those that know me hiking, and those that know me at church. But few know all of the above, and if we reduce me down to a single woman that does physical therapy, it's not really my life. Great post!
ReplyDeleteSo very true. As much of an extrovert as I am, I'm finding myself dreading meeting new people lately, mostly, I think, because of this question.
ReplyDeleteI love your suggestions of questions to ask - thank-you!
Great points! It feels frustrated to be put in a box when someone finds out a few facts about you. What I "do" is so much more than how I earn a paycheck. Your post is a good reminder to not box people in myself.
ReplyDeleteYour reflection was great, put words to what I was feeling. Those are great questions to ask, luv, luv, luv it!!!! I hate the conversation stopper ones, and your ideas were excellent. I am going to try to put them into practice. ...sooooo cool that you ballroom dance, we did it a bit when we were dating, but that sounds like a fun thing to get back into.
ReplyDelete