Sunday, November 23, 2014

God is Not a Cosmic Oprah

Though years have passed since our Couple to Couple League NFP classes, one phrase stuck with me: "becoming co-creators with God." This phrase, used to describe the miracle and profound responsibility of conceiving a child, led me to a deep misunderstanding of God's role in conceiving. It made it sound like God affirmed each and every conception, that He considered each potential conception, agreeing to or denying each and every one of them. Over time it led to me picture God as almost a cosmic Oprah: "You get a baby! And you get a baby! And everybody gets a baby!" (except you, and you, and you...) except with less jumping up and down and screaming. 

How can you not get angry at a God who deliberately chooses to give children to people who will kill them or abuse them but not to people who would be amazing parents? I couldn't; it wasn't until I saw the flaw in my thinking that I could quit being angry. God doesn't have to affirm each and every conception; more often than not, He simply permits natural processes to play out. While God always and everywhere has the potential to work a miracle in contradiction to the laws of science and medicine, most often He sees fit to work within the rules and framework that He has established. So, yes, it is easier for the 20 year old who "isn't ready" to conceive to do so; it is more likely that couple without endometriosis/PCOS/thyroid problems/adrenal fatigue/low sperm count, etc. will conceive. It is in the diagnosis and treatment of the underlying causes that those of us with IF are most likely conceive. 

God isn't saying "You get a baby!" to everyone else and "... But you don't." to us. He isn't picking out winners and losers; He isn't judging us less worthy. His plans for us may be wildly different from our plans, but He loves each and every one of His children equally. 


  1. There have definitely been times where I have thought that God is denying me and I think the NFP mindset really contributed to that for me. I thought I had so much control and then learned I didn't have all that much control to begin with. As St. Thomas Aquinas says "God works with our nature, He does not go against it." I think we all have a lot of false ideas on who God is but in order to grow we must confront the fallacies we have about Him.

    I also totally picture Oprah screaming at the top of her lungs "you get a baby and you get a baby..." Haha!

  2. "He isn't judging us less worthy. His plans for us may be wildly different from our plans, but He loves each and every one of His children equally." Lovely.

  3. I needed that last paragraph, thank you. Its been hard not to feel left out and passed up, especially with another pg announcement today at work.